where am i from again
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
