your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
