We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
