I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
