I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
