in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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