Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize