He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
