he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
