I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
