I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
