I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
