No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she smelled like a LAN party
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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