Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
