I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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