I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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