You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
