i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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