how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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