end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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