I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
