Please, let me fuck your mom
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
