would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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