I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
