allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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