he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
