3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
