K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
