Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
