So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
