I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
