Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
