I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
