I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
