what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
