Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
