I think i sorta joined a cult last night
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
