i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
