I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize