Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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