two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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