I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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