you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
