I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
