how do flat chested girls get laid?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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