I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Never joke about your clitoris.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
