remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
