Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
