Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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