The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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