What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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