I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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