You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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