I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Life is so much better after having sex.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
