she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
