Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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