so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We named our party play list daddy issues
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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