Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
