i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I can't turn off my feet"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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