The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
