were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
