Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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