first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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